Blog

a trip back to childhood.

2012-01-26T02:25:00.005+08:00

"spring-cleaning" my room before chinese new year, and i dug out A LOT of stuff i owned in primary school. i couldnt bear to throw them away but i still did *heart shatters*

it's like vintage man. treasures that i threw away :'(

this was halfway through the mess. dont judge haha!

remember these long long erasers that were like the in thing that time? i lost the pen-container thing to put the eraser at though :(

REMEMBER THESE COLOURED PENCIL LEADS? there's still so many leads left! hahaha. and i loved to buy colour/glitter pens in primary and secondary school so.. i found like at least 30 pens or so and half of them is still usable! hahaha.

SAILORMOON!!! one of my favourite anime when i was young because i thought all the girls were so pretty! my favourite character was the blue one, water based attacks :D (i realised my favourite powerpuff girl is bubbles, blue too! lol)

i still remember every time i catch the show on tv, i didnt realise that it ends after half an hour and i still sit there like an idiot waiting for the channel to show my sailormoon :'( they'd put 4 chinese words at the bottom which i cant remember, and that time i didnt understand those words! D:

in primary 6, there was SARS so we had to take our temperature everyday. this was indispensable for hygiene haha! i had a lot left which i threw away :(

i was crazy over S.H.E. that time so i actually owned like every single album, knew every single song, and i forgot how i owned this! i had posters, limited edition files, and even a jigsaw puzzle that's hanging in my room! ever since i went into upper secondary i sort of stopped listening and lost touch with their new songs. i still listen here and there, but most were not to my liking unlike the really old songs :(

i found all these really old photos! everyone so cute lah hahaha.

photos of my three other cousins when we were all in primary school. NO PRIZES FOR GUESSING WHICH IS ME. freaking fat i know hahaha!

janice, ruiyan and cynthia used to be my best friends in primary school haha. sadly we've already distanced and sort of left each other's lives. AND HAHAHA I WAS SUCH A PIG (NOW STILL) EAT AND EAT EVEN WHEN TAKING PHOTO LOL.

conclusion: i wasted a lot of money since primary school, especially through buying a lot of stationeries. and i was a fat pig that loved eating... which continued till now hahaha.

2012-01-25T03:35:00.002+08:00

outfit for new year: white lace romper from lacepipe, red hearts belt from TCL and red gladiators from nine west! :D

HAPPY DRAGON YEAR.

i have finally won money during gambling!!!!! after like losing few years straight. hehehe i hope this good luck ensues :D and good luck please come to me for jobs? nobody replied me for all those i've applied :(

2012-01-20T04:39:00.002+08:00

i have... 1801 blogposts here whoa hahaha!

and since i was bored at home... CAMWHORE TIME. save your eyes, i post only three hahaha.

BY THE WAY, if anyone's interested, i actually applied for jobs already. but i think i really have no luck with anyone wanting to hire me. i dont even have confidence of doing a good job at work despite how much i want to :( find husband marry be tai tai sua.

2012-01-18T15:50:00.001+08:00

I don't like it when people try to assume things about me. It's damn irritating urgh. If you think you understand me so well, why ain't you my best friend then? If you understand me so well you might as well be me?

When people are like, "you later confirm blah blah blah" my mind will totally go shut up and I control my eyes from rolling itself. What makes you so sure that I'll do whatever you say anyway? Sorry but all the more I'll do the opposite when it irritates me.

And some people really last warning. Everyone's always accommodating you so stop pushing it -.- just because you want something doesn't mean the majority wants it too.

Bitch fit in progress.

2012-01-09T05:36:00.001+08:00

Every time I'm upset I feel as if I have nobody to turn to, even though I have many friends right here with me. I have a problem with trust pretty badly eh?

Probably cos of all these late nights that remind me of unhappy things that I don't want to be reminded of. NEVER MIND, go to sleep and when I wake up I can't even remember why I'm upset now :>

2012-01-09T04:38:00.002+08:00

before perm. when i still had straight hair.

after perm. without all the chemicals that the hairdresser added to make my hair super curly.

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO STILL THINKS THAT I LOOK BETTER IN STRAIGHT HAIR? :(

2012-01-07T01:45:00.003+08:00

my hair is now, well, PERMED.

i still have two more shades but i have no idea where they are!! :(

not very obvious curls in these photos, thank god! i should probably remind myself to never make decisions while half-awake :(

2012-01-06T17:25:00.001+08:00

I wish some of my friends will stop making me feel as if I'm being taken advantage of every time sigh.

2012-01-06T01:53:00.003+08:00

this sounds pretty bad, but actually i dont even need people to feel appreciative for everything i've done, BECAUSE I JUST WANT MY MONEY BACK...... feel appreciative all you want after returning me my money, i'd feel it and be happy.

if it's just a few dollars never mind, i'll just treat you or something. but you don't have to take advantage and do that all the time right?! plus all that bullshit about "oh next time i treat you instead okay! *inserts huge smiley face*" and then just pat pat backside disappear and then get stingy with me the next time.

NO MONEY THEN DONT BUY LAH. everything you buy is not a NEED, but a WANT. borrow money already then conveniently forget.

screw all the superficial friends really.

2012-01-04T01:18:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHAHA I LOOK LIKE SOME XIAOMEIMEI NO? HAHAHAHAHAA. cannot take it.
okay lah at least i look younger.

2012-01-01T20:16:00.022+08:00

downloaded this chinese language personality application on iphone which is pretty accurate i must say. free translation from me, click on your answer to find out if it's true! :D

Click twice if the answers dont appear k!

1. If you woke up in the morning, and saw a new pimple on your face. What will you do?
Regarding whether you'll fall in love with an ugly guy

a. Use your hands to squeeze the pimple to remove it immediately.

b. Find your pimple-squeezing tools to remove it.

c. Brush your teeth, wash your face, wear your clothes, then rush to your beautician.

d. Forget it, let the pimple disappear by itself.

my answer's a!

2. There is a sudden huge rain but all the umbrellas in your house are spoilt. The rain gets bigger and you're left with no choice, so which umbrella will you pick?
Find out how bad your temper is

a. An umbrella with a huge hole.

b. An umbrella with a small hole.

c. An umbrella with a spoilt handle.

d. A very short umbrella but has a perfect handle.

my answer's d!

3. You're in a foreign country (where you don't know their language) and dying of thirst, and you finally see a woman selling water. What will you do?
Find out how violent you are

a. Use actions to describe.

b. Draw a picture out.

c. Find someone to help.

d. Forget it, just endure.

e. Try to explain together with actions.

my answer's e!

4. You finally got your dream wooden house. Your good friend decides to buy you a bench for you to place outside the house for you to enjoy the sunsets. What kind of chair do you think it is?
Find out how lonely you are now

a. A bench made of rattan.

b. A vintage bench.

c. Something similar to a swing.

my answer's b!

5. You're someone who always get into trouble since young, always giving your family and friends a headache. What do you think you always get into trouble for?
Find out who can be your confidante

a. Always being a muddle-head.

b. Bad temper.

c. Too gullible.

my answer's b!

6. When you're starving to death, what food below will you choose to eat?
To find out what kind of person are you

a. Roasted chicken.

b. Rice.

c. Braised pork.

d. Sweet and sour fish.

my answer's b!

that's all for now, my chinese improved x1000 and google translation is my best friend.

IS YOURS ACCURATE??

2011-12-31T03:29:00.001+08:00

i've had the best december of my life. i think i spend every single day out with friends! minus away the money gone part :'(

may 2012 be a even better year, JUST LET ME GET INTO A UNIVERSITY PLEASE.

2011-12-27T14:42:00.001+08:00

Feeling really really sad right now but as usual.. Kind of nobody in my mind to turn to.

2011-12-26T01:59:00.002+08:00

past week was crazy. going out everyday and staying out late like nobody's business.

christmas eve with NPU, christmas with family and relatives. caught Wicked the musical today! :)

i love the script, costumes, set, music, cast, everything! really good in my opinion :D

work keeps postponing sigh I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

2011-12-19T14:11:00.002+08:00

thanks 4o6 classmates, and some other nanhua friends for coming to celebrate my birthday (though i doubt any will see this haha). two years ago they were here to celebrate, two years later they are still here! and i must thank justin this time for organising it hahaha.

drank quite a lot so ended up puking, wasnt drunk though!! felt really paiseh to have them take care of me though :(

thanks NPU for coming to my house early in the morning to "surprise" me with the cake and some of your presents!! sorry i couldnt stay for long since i had to go for lunch with my family. sorry i didnt leave any time during the weekend to meet up with you recruits!! thanks for everything though :)

went off for birthday lunch with the family and maid at crystal jade at imm. walked a while, and went home cos i was pretty stoned from last night!

napped for half an hour, then off to meet my clique 5 + bbm! though liqiang wasnt present this time :( had dinner at charly t, then we watched mission impossible for free thanks to edward's brother. then we went for rochor tauhuay till my birthday was over then we went home.

i dont know if there are more celebrations to come, but i'm really thankful for everyone who celebrated with me, wished me happy birthday, gave me cards and presents etc. i love receiving these handmade cards with handwritten words. BEST PRESENT EVER :)

2011-12-14T01:21:00.002+08:00

everytime i look at gorgeous wedges/heels i lament on my tall height.. until i look away then i'm so glad for my height. i'll gladly buy them if i dont look like giant with them man! MAYBE GET A BOYFRIEND THAT'S 190CM AND ABOVE THEN I HAVE EXCUSES TO BUY ALL THE CHIO SHOES HEHE.

my wardrobe really too full already, i cant squeeze clothes in ANYWHERE. my two racks are full too.. oh god. not to mention my luggage of clothes that i brought to flea last time and did not sell them off :/ if i ban myself from buying until the end of this year.. is there anyone who would want to sponsor me clothes that i like but shall not buy? ^^

birthday cupcakes from karyan and xinhua for weiying and me!! (: love you guys many many and thanks a lot for the birthday cupcake!!

2011-12-11T14:46:00.001+08:00

Actually there's nothing much I want to have for my birthday, except quality time with friends! Then again, I'm out spending quality time with friends almost everyday now hehe.

I do want to have a whole night out, sitting by the beach at sentosa feeling the sea breeze and talk the whole night with someone. Anyone that's good to talk to. That has been what I've always wanted to do since secondary school but.. Hahaha. Or like at marina barrage the whole night lying down and looking at stars and talk. But nooooo it's impossible because hardly anyone can stay out whole night, or I don't know anyone who would do that with me :(

2011-12-08T19:06:00.002+08:00

Finally got rid of my laziness to start on the Christmas cards. Ugly but still, the thought that counts right :( It took me half a day to do just these 6!!

favourite photos.

2011-12-08T02:21:00.002+08:00

the one and only photo of our feet off the ground, after numerous tries hahaha.

2011-12-06T04:02:00.002+08:00

bought materials to make christmas cards for some lovely friends but.... possibility of me actually doing it? 1:100 HAHAHA.

need to reduce my laziness :(

spent my monday with amelia, havent been so happy in a while though (:

2011-12-04T00:40:00.002+08:00

December wishes:

1. Go overseas. Anywhere (well except boring places)
2. Get a treadmill (so that I can exercise while watching all my shows hahaha but parents say that treadmill's too big for our tiny house...)
3. Lose 3kg by the end of the month
4. Find a really fashionable camera bag for my camera
5. Snag a full time job to start in January
6. Spend every single day out with friends/family
7. Spend at least one more night out with you

2011-12-02T05:01:00.005+08:00

my 18th birthday. specially organised by amelia. will never ever forget that day where everyone came (: secondary school classmates, secondary school bandmates, frisbee friends.. though my mass comm friends never came. or my acjc orientation group people.

these people, once a part of my life. most of them still are (: i really don't know what i'll do without them man! i think i really had very little girl friends and a lot of guy friends, though the girl friends are the ones closer to me. hahaha. i still remember spending the night before with yuxuan and gabriel at the pasar malam at pending, being upset that clique5 and bbm didnt ask me out!

my 19th birthday. i had my secondary school bandmates, and sayhwee. and frisbee friends. drifted from most of my classmates (well all guys and some that i actually dont talk to too lol) the part with my frisbee friends was quite fail.. but still, they turned up :)

my 15th birthday was probably the first that i've ever started celebrating with friends. and for 4 years straight i celebrated it with my lovely bandmates. even though vivian sort of disappeared on us, at least i still have amelia, dacia, daphne, edward and liqiang. clique 5 and bbm :')

my 20th birthday. i have more friends, new friends, more cliques, but probably nobody will be as good as the old. and.. i actually wonder who will celebrate for me this year actually hahaha.

AND LOOKING AT THESE PICTURES I STILL CANNOT GET OVER THE FACT OVER HOW SKINNY I USED TO BE.
operation lose weight will really really commence.. next week. hahahahahhahaa.

2011-12-01T04:31:00.000+08:00

HAHA SO TRUE.

2011-11-30T03:43:00.002+08:00

last thurday. somebody's wedding at shangri la, i had to attend with my parents. which means, make up time! first time trying to put eye shadow like this, pretty fail i think :( :(

mummy(:

may be going overseas with family this december yayyyy ^^v

2011-11-28T03:40:00.001+08:00

no idea what i want to do for my birthday, who i want to celebrate with, who will want to celebrate with me, but all i know is i'd wish it's special.

oh nooooo i shouldnt get so emo and upset shit about this right. it's supposed to be a happy thing!!!

3 weeks.

2011-11-27T03:45:00.001+08:00

Exactly 3 weeks to my birthday.

Haven't been looking forward since months ago. One small little reason is turning big two, but that isn't the main reason.

Mehh. I kind of want to be overseas right now for my birthday so that at least I can have a carefree birthday :(

2011-11-23T02:37:00.003+08:00

nope, still havent done up my resume. i have no idea why i'm procrastinating so much.

my ex colleague put this on her facebook status today: "The fact is, I don't really know what I want. Incredibly blessed to have come this way (so far so good) despite not knowing what I want."

I dont know what i really want to do for my next job. graphic designer? really? that was what i wanted to do in secondary 3 until i graduated at started working my previous job. but why is it that the moment i've stepped out into the working world, i feel like backing out? this is the scene that i was afraid of all along, and the reason why i went into mass communications. so that i can have another option.

so my other option went into advertising, where my passion grew. yet i'm afraid to actually try and apply for a job right now with my mediocre knowledge of anything and everything. i don't even know if i can actually handle heavy workload like before. moreover, advertising would probably include meeting clients, doing presentations on our concepts. meeting clients okay, but presentations' totally not my thing.

i've always stuttered and feel intimidated when all eyes are on me since secondary school. in band, i could never play my trumpet properly when everyone's listening, or like when i have to play a solo which makes me stand out. i'm afraid of making mistakes. i went into mass communications, and i did countless of presentations; but none of it that i could successfully say that i was okay. even during my speech communications classes, i never scored. because of my fear. every single time i need to present my heart will beat really fast, before, during and after. not just these. today there was this layout drill and ALL EYES will be on me if i do the drill. that whole bloody feeling came back and.. i just couldnt do it. mustering my courage took too long.

sigh.. so probably not advertising. but if i do go back to graphic designing, i know i'm not good enough compared to so many people out there. i have ZERO creative juices at all, i might say. yes, my aesthetic sense did improve during my work, but still not good enough for the industry. after this two months long break, i feel as if i know nothing already. i think the standard of my work will probably drop. i have absolutely no confidence that i can even do a good job if i'm hired. and when i'm hired, yet again i'm afraid of making mistakes.....

i did enjoy graphic designing at my previous job though. probably the only thing i enjoyed doing. but... ARGH. just slap myself with this no confidence shit. i know clearly that i do not want to just find any other job to while this year and the next away because it would not even be helpful for anything.

i think i'll probably have a good talk with my mum about this. but wasting my life away now, every other day going to ngee ann just for some ultimate and friends, every other day doing shit stuff.. these days will never ever be back once everything gets back on track again.

stupid education system.... cant get into the public universities i want, and without a degree i cant even earn much money in this country...

leaving this finding work and getting into a university aside, life's all well isn't it? incredibly blessed with good family and good friends.

2011-11-18T03:21:00.001+08:00

been feeling a lot of emptiness in my heart recently.

2011-11-17T02:56:00.002+08:00

my life is so mundane that i feel as if i have nothing to blog about, nothing to talk about. i'm not doing anything new, not meeting anyone new.

probably the only fun thing that happened to me was staying in the school loft because of polite! and that my cousin gladys is sleeping with me because her mum is overseas. i cant help but laugh when sleeping with her because she rolls around so much that she rolled off my bed, and even hit her head on my dressing table next to my bed on another occasion.

and everyone else is like either studying or working so i dont know who i can ask out :( I HAVE NO SOCIAL LIFE OH GOSH. i miss my nanhua friends :((((((

2011-11-10T03:54:00.006+08:00

this whole week has been awesome. meeting up with friends every single day, enjoying life to its maximum! :D

cardigan, laced-up shorts - forever21, top - far east plaza, canvas bag - esprit, necklace - diva, ring - flea, boots - steve madden

edited to the sketch effect using my camera ^^

sunday - sushi buffet with npu, then flea with the girls, then k with everyone else. supper at night!!
monday - friendly with ntu
tuesday - training
wednesday - salted caramel with meixiu lingquan and wenjie, then pasta mania + swirl art (again) with daphne dixon yanwen and joel.

contemplating whether i should go training when i wake up. friday - sunday, LOFT + POLITE. then time to REALLY find work hahahaha.

2011-11-05T03:26:00.003+08:00

i havent visited any blogs in quite a long long while, everybody probably changed their links without bothering to tell me anything :( does anyone even read this still?!

and i suppose if they had the intention for me to know what's going in their life, had the intention to keep me in their life much, would tell me their new blog link too right??? oh wellllllll.

2011-11-01T01:36:00.003+08:00

fringe.

I SUPPOSE IT'S STILL BETTER TO HAVE MY SIDE FRINGE THAN A MIDDLE PARTING OR NO FRINGE HAHA.

sigh forehead why you so high!!

2011-10-25T14:01:00.001+08:00

I've always been having repetitive dreams about me flying and using magic. Different situations though.

"Flying dreams fall under a category of dreams known as lucid dreams. Lucid dreams occur when you become aware that you are dreaming. Many dreamers describe the ability to fly in their dreams as an exhilarating, joyful, and liberating experience.

If you are flying with ease and are enjoying the scene and landscape below, then it suggests that you are on top of a situation. You have risen above something. It may also mean that you have gained a new and different perspective on things. Flying dreams and the ability to control your flight is representative of your own personal sense of power."

"To perform or dream of magic suggests that you need to look at things from a different view or approach your problems from a new angle in order to successfully move forward. Alternatively, magic symbolizes creativity and wonder. Perhaps someone or something has caused you to be in awe. The dream may also be a metaphor that you or someone is "up to some trick"."

Trying to hint me to change my lazy lifestyle and work soon? Hahaha.

2011-10-25T05:17:00.002+08:00

you know, i actually really really do wish that i dont have to talk to you ever again. i dont want to start a conversation with you. i dont even want to be friends with you anymore. i dont even want to give a damn about you.

we'll see.

2011-10-25T04:47:00.002+08:00

dress from lacepipe.sg, shoes from ASOS, earrings' a gift from mum.

14 october if i'm not wrong. timbre with the yog coke friends, then swirl art thereafter!
the river island brogues are $30, which i got it 50% off at ASOS. what a steal right!!!

two pairs of steve madden shoes.

coach wristlet.

19 october. shopped at resorts world sentosa and the shoppes marina bay sands since dad had points to exchange.
would never ever get such things if we have to pay! but anyway, if anyone wants to buy steve madden shoes, ask me for the discount card anytime! :) that's if, anybody's still reading this dead blog. hahaha.

WILL. FIND. WORK. SOON.

2011-10-20T14:35:00.002+08:00

Resorts world sentosa and marina bay sands visit yesterday with parents and brother!

Bought a coach wristlet :D and two steve madden shoes!! Dont bother asking about the amount I spent but still, whoa.

2011-10-17T03:03:00.001+08:00

just saw the art works of a fellow mass comm student in ADM. very demoralised, i'll probably be unable to survive drawing all those despite how much i want to get in, score and do well. i really cant draw for nuts, all i can is computer graphics.... :(

2011-10-16T23:40:00.001+08:00

everybody's starting school tomorrow. i should be going to look for work asap already. sigh i'm really wasting my life away :(

WHAT CAN I DO REALLY :(

2011-10-15T21:01:00.001+08:00

Despite the many mistakes I made during the game today, I was really really happy that so many alumni actually came down! Had a lot of fun. But I doubt we can always come together like this and play :(

2011-10-11T03:26:00.001+08:00

I'm actually a pretty alone person, Y/N?

2011-10-11T01:02:00.001+08:00

when you're too bored.

2011-10-09T21:27:00.000+08:00

wasted one whole day like that >:(

2011-10-07T03:04:00.001+08:00

oh my god it's already friday. yet another week has past and i still havent got a job yet! :/

at this rate i'm looking for a job i'll probably be like what, 2 months jobless shitzz.

2011-10-03T03:47:00.002+08:00

comparing the photos of me with make up and no make up, i think i should probably start putting more make up hahaha lack of sleep makes me look so cui?!

glad that i met up with sayhwee on saturday :) we ate at rider's cafe and we loved the food! hehe. definitely gonna drag someone back with me for the food soon!

the usual, ordered by sayhwee. tastes really good!

mine's sheperd's pie. how to resist when there's my favourite potato right? hehe.

death by chocolate cake. we really sat there and ate this cake for 1.5 hours! really can die hahaha.

2011-10-03T03:39:00.002+08:00

Glee - Pretending.

Face to face and heart to heart
We're so close yet so far apart.
I close my eyes
And look away
That's just because I'm not okay.

But I hold on
I stay strong
Wondering if we still belong.

Will we ever say the words we're feeling?
Reach down underneath
And tear down all the walls?
Will we ever have a happy ending?
Or will we forever only be pretending?
Will we a-a-a-always, a-a-a-a-always a-a-a-a-always be pretending?

How long do I fantasize
Make believe that it's still alive?
Imagine that, I am good enough
And we can chose, the ones we love.

But I hold on
I stay strong
Wondering if we still belong.

Will we ever say the words we're feeling?
Reach down underneath
And tear down all the walls?
Will we ever have a happy ending?
Or will we forever only be pretending?
Will we a-a-a-always, a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be pretending?

Keeping secrets safe
Every move we make.
Seems like no ones letting go
And it's such a shame
'Cause if you feel the same
How am I supposed to know?

Will we ever say the words we're feeling?
Reach down underneath
And tear down all the walls?
Will we ever have a happy ending?
Or will we forever only be pretending?
Will we a-a-a-always, a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be...
Will we a-a-a-always, a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be...
Will we a-a-a-always, a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be pretending?

2011-10-03T00:45:00.001+08:00

holding back my tears because i know you're not worth it.

2011-10-02T23:05:00.003+08:00

i've blogged it all out at my livejournal but i still dont feel any better.

doesnt make things better when i cant seem to win at mahjong too.

是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由

reasons why:

2011-10-01T03:10:00.002+08:00

1. i'm ugly
2. i'm fat
3. i'm unsociable
4. i'm violent
5. i'm inconsiderate
6. i'm uncouth
7. i'm un-ladylike
8. i'm insecured
9. i'm not the girl next door
10. i'm not the popular girl
11. i'm not a good friend
12. i'm not exactly a nice person. at all.

2011-09-30T14:10:00.001+08:00

Kind of feeling like shit right now. Then I'm thinking I have no one to turn to about this.

But it's okay. I'm used to it.

----

You know. I had this dream about us. You missing the past we had. You missing the care and concern I showed you. You missing everything. The dreamt ended and I was wondering is it me missing you or you missing me.

Everything's over so long ago, the wound has healed but the scar is there to stay. The scar hurts when it's pressed though.

2011-09-28T03:51:00.002+08:00

i really really want to set up my own blogshop and design clothes for myself and sell to earn some bucks too HAHA. but it's so hard to start up since i dont know anything at all...... :( and i have nobody to help me :(

2011-09-27T02:57:00.002+08:00

top from armani exchange, ribbon from taiwan, overall from forever21.

put on make up, together with foundation and a bit of eyeshadow. they have been rotting for way too long!! the last time i used them properly was prom in secondary 4 ._. i think i should really try to use them up hahaha. and by the way the picture of gladys is too cute to not put up at all!

went on a shopping spree at town again. steals: h&m belt, one pair of shoes, one high waisted shorts, two necklaces and membership for some jay gee thing so i can get discount for more clothes yayyyyyy. if anybody wants discount for new look, aeropostale, levi's etc look for me k i lend you my card! :D

2011-09-26T02:11:00.003+08:00

LIFE IS SO BORING. ISN'T IT?

I NEED TO FIND WORK BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO DO AT ALL. OR DO I HAVE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO ASK ME OUT? PLEASE DO HEHEHE.

2011-09-23T03:04:00.001+08:00

I thought I was long numb to this already.

But I guess when you really care about someone, no matter how long the time has past it'll still affect you.

Oh hell wait, I shouldn't even be thinking about these useless stuff. I don't like being sad.

2011-09-23T01:49:00.002+08:00

last november, i blogged at my livejournal.

"i bet i'll drift away from them soon."

not even half a year later, my bet came true.

2011-09-23T01:38:00.006+08:00

thinking back, actually there were countless of times i actually wanted to quit frisbee. but different groups of friends kept me going.

i really did almost quit before open circuit. i told myself, i'll only play for friends, and only if a team needs me. but i continued taking photos and ended up playing for summer league, then jb opens. now grab huck score. i didnt want to play for summer league at first, but i ended up playing because of friends. then again, i'm playing because of friends for jb opens and grab huck score too.

sigh. play so long already still so lousy. why do i even bother to continue also right? close to 2 years of experience already and i'm probably one of the worst players still.

august 2010.

what i actually feel

2011-09-23T01:19:00.002+08:00

livejournal. my best friend forever :)

2011-09-21T03:06:00.001+08:00

ALL THESE LATE NIGHTS ARE DOING ME NO GOOD HURRR. MY THOUGHTS ARE RUNNING FAR TOO WILD.

2011-09-21T02:39:00.000+08:00

thinking about the money i spend on friends. the random stuff that i'll buy for friends. the random treats. the random gifts. wow if i dont spend these money i'll probably have hundreds of money more now?

&& thinking back, i dont receive things from these friends i always buy things for. it's not that i want it, but it will really make me feel happy whenever someone goes the extra mile for me. isn't the feeling great when a friend buys you something special whenever they go overseas? it's not the mass-buy-for-everyone-item, but something specially chosen for you. i get this kind of happiness i can't describe. love these friends, i really do. they let you know that you're on their mind even when they're somewhere far away.

but when you're not overseas, probably no one would buy things for their friends unlike me hmm. yep i shall stop buying. why waste money right? spend it on myself and my brothers better.

i've always expected more from closer friends. just because i'm willing to do that much more for them, i expect them to go the little extra mile for me. not as much as what i'd do, but at least something more than just a friend. my birthday last year, all i received from the "closer friends", were things i didnt expect. not happiness, but sadness. ~~just a photo.~~ i dont ask for expensive things. i dont ask for gifts. all i ask for is really just some sincere wishes actually. handcrafted items. handwritten birthday cards. but it's okay, everything's the past and everything has changed now. there's nothing to expect from them anymore.

clique 5 + bbm will always be special in my heart. they buy presents for each and everyone of us when they're overseas. recently, we have been giving/receiving gifts everytime we meet up! haha. and i get reminded of how amelia used to buy some random things for me to spur me on in secondary school <3 but it's not about the presents, it's about the thought that counts. i cant deny that their presents make their presence more special in a way though.

2011-09-20T02:13:00.002+08:00

i miss those days in taiwan. waking up and nothing to worry about. going everywhere with friends, shopping, playing, eating; having the time of our lives.

i really want to go overseas again. but nobody to go with this time round. :( mum refused to go bangkok shopping with me though... i really want that one day overseas again where it's carefree and full of happiness. can everyone quit school or work hahahahaaha.

2011-09-20T02:09:00.000+08:00

this feeling i'm having ain't right.

don't people get days that they're tired of being nice, doing that extra bit for people as always? i do. many a times i actually feel like rejecting to help someone but i'll feel bad. so i still end up doing it anyway.

and then there are times when something comes over me and i volunteer to help. then i regret thereafter.

i know there are people who will really appreciate it. then again, how many are these people who appreciate? how many are these people who actually are making use of me?

there was a period when i got so tired of people looking for me the moment they needed help, so i rejected for the first time and ended up having my friend being angry at me. why must i always help, and when i need help nobody's there?

but it's okay. i'm used to it anyway.

2011-09-15T01:58:00.001+08:00

I get inspiration from anything and everything. Advertisements, pieces of work, everyday life, and the list goes on.

And just to design my resume perfectly, I've been doing it for three nights and it's still not completed!! Gah. I get one inspiration to do one section one day. Why can't I get more inspiration??

I'd choose to work over rotting at home aimlessly anytime. Different from resting ok haha. I really hope Abercrombie and Fitch can hire me :(

2011-09-14T21:50:00.001+08:00

Hmm blogging through the new iphone blogger app.

I'm such a lazy ass I swear. I've been doing my resume for the past two nights and it's not even halfway done because of how lazy I am.

Maybe it's because I don't really want to start work at all :(

I wish things will magically complete themselves man. Arghhhhhhhh booooooo.

2011-09-11T21:51:00.000+08:00

mini movie marathon on friday! caught smurfs and glee.

smurfs are so cuteeeeeeeee! but i didnt expect glee movie to be what it is though. but since i love glee i still like it too hehe. the warblers academy <3<3

I HELPED HAZEL "MAKEOVER" HAPPILY BUT SHE DIDNT WANT IT IN THE END. SO SADDENING PLEASE. SO MANY PEOPLE PREFERRED HER IN IT LO :'(

nicer and look more cheerful than her usual plain clothes right!!!!!!!!!! :( but ok totally my style i know hahaha.

dress - far east plaza, denim top - taiwan, wedges - new look (ok sorry cant be seen haha), hairband - f21, bag - urban outfitters, rings - taiwan, bangles - taiwan, f21, korea spree

been wanting to wear this dress out for the longest time :D i really like it but too bad it's too transparent to wear without something to cover behind booooo.

it's been two weeks of being unemployed and it feels like forever. i should really find work soon T.T

2011-09-08T23:32:00.002+08:00

SAY HI TO MY PURPLE HAIR!! (see that streak??)

it's supposed to be blue.. but never mind i'm okay with this too hahaha.

ok lah one more picture of my face sorry lol

my last picture in the office. i miss some people, and the corgi dog :( :(

2011-09-03T01:09:00.005+08:00

white oversized top - the gorgeous look, belt - china, pink high waisted lace shorts - forever 21, bag - urban outfitters, necklace - gift.

MUM SAID I LOOK DAMN OLD FASHIONED. GOT MEH??

i havent done this kind of camwhoring shots for a long long time HAHA. edited the photo using some application i downloaded on my iphone ^^v

see that brown paper bag? MY PENTAX CAMERA IS BACK YIPPEE. time for better and nicer photos :D

stayed over at my darling szeli's house. felt really happy that my mum agreed to let me stayover for the first time!! 有了一次就会有第二次，第三次.... hehe >:)

2011-08-30T23:32:00.003+08:00

OH HAI OH HAI I AM HAPPYGURLZ1991 HAHA.

even though camp was sadly cancelled at the last minute, at least i had funnnn :)

rudy's birthday celebration after work. then ton overnight next day to watch the SUO seeding but was pretty too stoned since i didnt really sleep :( crashed and woke up 16 hours later at home only to wake up and play mahjong for 14 hours or something? overnight again.

then slept for 2 hours, woke up groggily to training which wasnt as intense as i hoped :( super tired but i went home for another 2 rounds of mahjong LOL it's like my source of income now! hahaha.

i hope i can fill everyday up with something so that it wont be so boring :D

2011-08-26T17:35:00.002+08:00

purple tank top - f21, white maxi skirt - china, flower necklace - gift, silver necklace - diva, bag - china, clock ring - taiwan, brown sandals - random shop in jurong point

ancient skirt okay!! if i'm not wrong i went to china when i was in year 1 of poly which means like 3 years ago. and i stashed it inside my cupboard and only wore it today hahaha! totally forgot about its existence. plus 3 years ago maxi not even in trend right HAHA suddenly feel damn hip LOL.

second last day of work!!

2011-08-25T16:09:00.003+08:00

top to toe, f21 except my belt from china and my bag from ASOS haha!! my face looks damn cui early in the morning oh god.

my recent addiction for these kind of rings haha oopsss.

meeting clique5 and bbm laterzzz yay life is good ;)

2011-08-24T16:39:00.003+08:00

OH HAY OH HAY I WANT TO GO ON A QUEST TO EAT AT ALL ICE CREAM PARLOURS IN SINGAPORE ONCE I END WORK.

ANYBODY WANNA JOIN ME??

2011-08-22T00:17:00.002+08:00

wanted to have some frisbee training but boo didnt get to :( so i ended up going to town to shop since i have nothing on. PRETTY BAD CHOICE EH MY WALLET HOLE BIG BIG NOW.

light pink lace top - f21, belt + shorts - challures, clutch - victoria jomo, bangle - diva, shoes - far east plaza, floral hairband - gift from amelia <3

sorry had to scare you with my face HAHA but i put on eye make up!! like after so long. i drew them on after taking the pictures of my outfit haha. and you can see the lace details on my top heeee.

today's spoils: overall + cardigan + shoe from f21. red striped tube from new look which made me look skinny amazingly!! probably the reason why i gave in and bought it HAHA.

damn malu, i bought the overall at wisma and i saw the price wrongly. i saw it as $31 instead of $39 and because i was sharing with a stranger for the discount... i almost thought she wanted to cheat my money lah omg! :(

and i think its damn hard to find a black cardigan i like. find for how many years already!! i gave up and got a plain oversized one from f21 men. booo sigh and stupid me didnt look at the price again T.T

probably boring you guys with my shopping trip isnt it hahaha sigh.

Confession Time.

2011-08-19T23:11:00.005+08:00

10 things that people don't know about me:

1. I like to take buses alone, or take long walks alone. It kind of gives me peace and the rest my brain needs.
2. When I'm alone at the streets with no one around, I like to sing whatever song that's playing on my iPhone. I shut up when I see people nearby or a car driving near.
3. After I park my car beside other cars at night, I'm afraid to look inside other cars because I'm afraid to see another face staring back at me.
4. At random times, I think about random friends everyday and start smiling to myself.
5. I'm actually afraid of sleeping straight, arms side by side. had an experience of the "鬼压身" in that position and i'm pretty much scared to experience it again.
6. I imagine a lot of nonsense in my brain. Like there's a vampire/corpse/ghost underneath my bed. Like I can actually layout in frisbee. Like I can grab a broom and just fly whenever I'm caught in a jam while driving. Like what I want to do in the future with people I want to, but will never ever ask. Like there's something staring at me while I'm trying to sleep, so I don't dare to open my eyes at all.
7. Sometimes I do get hurt by what people say even though I may have been used to it, or still joke around about it. It's not all the time though.
8. I'm willing to help anyone for anything as long as I don't dislike you, but many times I end up feeling being taken advantage of. Yet I'm still stupidly willing to help.
9. I think I put up a pretty strong front, no?
10. Actually I think I'm afraid to love.

oh by the way... NOT EMOING.

so much for wanting to post photos of my outfit to work everyday eh? but i ended up wearing jeans most of the days since i have nothing much on so i decided not to take photos. hate jeans for life HAHA.

reflection

2011-08-17T19:30:00.004+08:00

took a stop in my life.

i just stood at the corridor and stared at everything and everyone. and i wondered what was going on in their lives, what have they experienced before, what are they going to do now. i look at myself. when work ends, do i really want to just waste my time away by enjoying? maybe it's not really wasting time but it sort of makes me feel as if i have no goals in life to look forward to and achieve.

do i really want to just work my whole life away? definitely not. but then again, it's life isnt it. if i dont work, i dont have money. i can't survive in this world without money. i dont even know if i can get into university next year. money money money. no education no money. no money no education too. bahhhhhhhh.

2011-08-17T00:22:00.005+08:00

friday - korean meat bbq buffet with the taiwan people. eat until siao omg the amount of meat was crazy! i wish there were other varieties though.

slacked at starbucks after that. TOO FULL TO EVEN DRINK HAHA.

saturday at sentosa :))))

but before that, szeli's birthday celebration which i sort of went super late hahaha.

what i wore: top - old navy, high waisted shorts - alloy, shoes - birkenstock, canvas bag - esprit.

i look like some ghostly woman really.. so ugly hahaha sigh.

i wanna go back sentosa and have more fun leh. holiday is coming soon!! i have a lot of places i want to go, a lot of places i want to eat at, but i dont have someone to accompany meee :(

2011-08-14T02:30:00.002+08:00

i find it so hard to trust.

i'm trying to stay away from you already - because i dont get why you'll be close to someone that you don't like or are unhappy with so much. it just tells me that you can put on a fake front very well, and what about in front of me? i have no idea how you really feel and how you think about me. i dont want to even talk or be close to someone who can also be fake in front of me.

yeah those negative feelings towards others may dissolve so you become close again but still... i'll never truly know how you feel. this gives me too much insecurity around you.

2011-08-12T11:20:00.004+08:00

mustard polka dot top - TTR, high waisted jeans - F21, belt - ASOS, vintage ring - flea, bag - ASOS, shoes - F21, camera necklace - gift.

do pardon the really fat thighs and ugly face hahaha. time to really really cut down on my chocolate intake and try to slim down i know T.T

korean bbq buffet tonight yay :D

somehow i'm actually "craving" for a girls' gathering at my house, baking cookies/brownies/cupcakes together during the holidays? mehhhhh who wants ^^ i'll make delicious hot nutella!! hahahahaa.

2011-08-07T22:32:00.001+08:00

I SO WANT TO GET A NEW MAC OMG. mine's lagging like crazy it's so frustrating. but $$$ how :( all the applications how :(

sighxz emo ah how how.

2011-08-05T16:28:00.001+08:00

hmmmm i feel so tempted to start blogging a picture everyday of my outfit haha should i? at least i have something to blog about my daily monotonous life!

2011-08-04T00:03:00.001+08:00

feeling so bored online recently. i no longer stalk blogs, i dont stalk anything. all i do when i go online is to read twitter, clear emails, and online shop. now i play games on facebook but still....... LIKE A NO LIFE RIGHT.

ask me out people HAHAHA. so i wont have such a boring life :(

2011-08-01T01:18:00.003+08:00

hello dead bloggggg i had one of the best ultimate day on saturday! i know i've been saying that to a lot of people but hehhh this is finally something i'd love to blog about :P

started off the day with d-ing a guy when he was running for a huck! he wham into me and i fell to the ground after that but heeeee doesnt matter! thanks to hweesiang who told and let me to go d it instead ^^ i feel damn happy leh damn long never do such kinda thing HAHA.

the best thing ever? i had at least a score or a d in every match except the last two haha but still!! like first time having so much stats.. not to mention so much game time compared to playing with other teams. and who've imagined a slow person like me running deep and scoring? bet there's nobody haha. plus i think it's the first time i scored this way ever since i started ultimate! okay but because we played against the malaysia teams that were less experienced, else i probably wouldnt be able to score too :/

after i made mistakes my teammates continued to throw to me.... and i didnt get benched. it does help to boost my morale haha. doing something to contribute to the team, having everyone with the same goal and focussed to win every game, the company, and everything, made this trip a damn good experience. feeling happy and satisfying and accomplished and all despite the mistakes that i could have cut down on.

i'll never find this feeling, this satisfaction and everything in npu. not going to say the reasons though..

we could have won smu twice. we lost on universal else could have gotten 1st/2nd. despite that, i'm still happy ^^ it's these kinda things that makes me want to continue and play and improve but well, i'll definitely see how it goes after summer league...

jaws jaws RAWR <3

2011-07-26T22:35:00.004+08:00

went to the railway over the weekends, which means BOTH DAYS!

saturday with npu girls, and sunday with brothers. my god, if only i can be as skinny as those girls out there i'll be so much happier :(

here are some of my favourite photos from saturday! of myself of course :P and others too lah haha! and well obviously most are those that i chose to edit hehe.

group photo of them looking like a girl band, no? hahaha!

hazel the paranoiddd woman

i think persis looks damn cute here haha

julia law looking angelic and all............... *shuts up*

qiqi very photogenic! she looks damn good in all photos lah.

celine the sweet girl ^^

LAST BUT NOT LEAST...

MYSELF HAHAHAHAHAA. thank you LAW for the awesome photo!! and thank you me for the awesome editing? hehehe.

saturday was pretty awesome getting to take good photos, and watched harry potter too! the son of harry potter so cute man he should totally act more shows so i can go gaga over him HAHA. and neville longbottom saves the day with the gryffindor sword!! i think i'm the only one who found the scene where ron and hermoine cowered together before the snake almost killed them funny :/

2011-07-22T10:53:00.002+08:00

working life is so boring that i think i have almost nothing to blog about everyday :(

on a side note, one more month to end of work! then play..... enjoy...... then find work again hahaha.

half a year more to university applications again :(

2011-07-19T11:45:00.003+08:00

best weekend + "holiday" so far ever :)

friday night, went to a local club for the first time HAHA kinda suaku.....

zirca/rebel was boring though :x

saturday - went down to watch my brother play for rvfu! :)

so proud of him running deep and score, or catching discs and throwing not bad hahaha.

got a pretty bad sunburn since i wore sleeveless jersey T.T there wasnt even sun!! rvfu got 7th, not a bad position though they could have been 6th!

sunday - summer league

okay didnt perform as usual..... i seem to drop at least one disc every week omg sigh :(

monday - took leave!

met up with yuxuan and some others, went to jurong point for lunch, then fetched julia and minghui then we went off to daily scoop for dessert! :D julia left for movie so the three of us went to bukit timah for yummy frog leg porridge.

spent the day relaxing and talking away. it's like the perfect day anytime....... if only everyday can be like this :(

2011-07-11T11:18:00.002+08:00

i should already have been used to not getting concern from the people i expect isnt it? it happens all the time. but the disappointment never decreases. need to get numb to everything.

so many people, so many friends. but why is it i feel as if some are here because i have benefits for them? i keep feeling used by some people. but nothing i can do too right.....

2011-07-10T00:49:00.002+08:00

i've a good mind to change my blog url secretly and dont tell anyone... should i? :/

2011-07-06T00:39:00.003+08:00

ice cream with npu girls on monday! most of them pangseh but never mind HAHA. 6 sundaes for 5 girls!

next monday eating again at jurong point whooo yayyyy :D all the yummy side dishes here i come!!

2011-07-06T00:27:00.001+08:00

you know, i kind of like, "mind-blogs" everyday.

i tell myself that i will blog this this this, post pictures about this this this, then somehow my mind tells me that it's done and i forget about it LOL. my mind works too fast hahahahaha!

but it'll probably slow down cos i'm feeling damn sick right now T.T feeling hot all over + blocked nose + cough the past few days and it's getting worse boooo. get well soon me!

2011-06-30T01:50:00.001+08:00

2011-06-28T15:25:00.002+08:00

2011-06-27T16:34:00.002+08:00

whoever that scratched my car yesterday, better not let me find out who you are. gonna hate you for life and make sure karma gets you back x1000.

not gonna offer my car to keep everyone's bags already. LET EVERYONE'S BAGS GET DRENCHED IN THE RAIN. offer already then go scratch my car damn good ah.

dont want to offer people to put their stuff in my boot either. chipped off cos people slam it too hard. and who are the culprits then? urgh.

not their car anyway, nobody cares. they're not paying for the maintenance of the car or the petrol or anything everyone's just getting lots and lots of free rides from me and save time and money for themselves.

gonna be selfish girl #1.

2011-06-27T00:09:00.002+08:00

see two guys gonna bang into me already i chua tio and dropped the disc......... EMO MAX???? else it's a damn nice score plus it's damn rare that i get to score/sky/whatever shit :(

2011-06-24T01:35:00.004+08:00

the way i shop is literally too crazy and too much. I NEED TO STOP. and i need to sell my clothes but i cant bear to sell any :'(

4 pairs of shoes, 4 rings, 6 tops, 3 shorts, 1 vest, 1 skirt, 4 dresses, 1 cap in a week? not to mention the clothes i havent worn at all yet... i think i probably spent more than my salary this month. i wish i can stop seeing clothes i like leh HAHAHA thats the best solution ever.

hellllll, I PROMISE I WILL NOT SHOP FOR ONE MONTH. ONE MONTH OKAY. i will bookmark everything i like and buy only after one month starting from today!! even if the blogshops have pretty launches i will...... try my best to ignore. :(

2011-06-22T10:35:00.002+08:00

mum said the chipping part at my car boot was because people slammed the car boot too hard too many times.

yep thanks people. so next time i'll be paying for the painting and everything else too. kanasai.. should never be nice and drive people again -.- pay so much myself, add up already dont know pay how much liao.

2011-06-21T00:57:00.006+08:00

hello i am happygirl91@hotmail.com!!

friday

vienna international buffet at united square!

to be honest i was quite disappointed cos i expected more food, but at least the quality is better than sakura? never mind, its the company that counts ^^

saturday

lunch with parents at flyer and they had this really cool old school place haha!

tehbing so cute!! and this cup was used as a toothbrush holder last time, or to contain water for the olden days people to gargle after brushing their teeth!

they've got this trishaw over there too hehe!

where else can you even find all these now man!

daddy and meeee

then went to mbs after that!

camwhored alone in the room while waiting for the rest to reach. SHOW YOU MY FACE HAHA.

us girls who went, plus two extra guys :(

we went up to the skypark at night just nice to see the end of the fireworks. damn pretty, plus they were like right in front of us, and the height's like just nice!

swam, drank, talked, then till morning then had a dip again! lunched and then home and i totally knocked out from 2pm to 8am straight. my parents said they woke me up for dinner but i cant remember anything :/ oops heh.

monday

took leave to go.. GSS shopping!! i havent shopped at all okay that's damn sad. had my brother and mum along and shopped to my heart's content :P just buy and buy... i love today. i want everyday to be like this man. which is why i said i'm probably good for nothing except spending money like water lol!

so in total i've gotten like 3 tops 1 bottom 1 ring 3 shoes hehe! happy buying clothes for all my brothers too :D

all the bags that we carried home:

pretty crazy shopping day but hmmmm today's like one of the best days ever.

2011-06-18T00:39:00.003+08:00

emo time. so demoralising looking at people talking about uni, looking at people going to uni, while i'm like stuck here nowhere to go...

i'm really good for nothing. suck at studies, suck at frisbee, suck at design. what else can i do -.- the only thing i'm probably good at is to spend money like water zz.

2011-06-15T23:00:00.003+08:00

i think i havent had a happy post for long! so sorry i abuse you blog, to spam all my emotions HAHA. now spam my face can? hehehe.

wore this maxi skirt to work today and my colleagues said i look like a belly dancer!! :( my maxi skirts are really rotting because i have one that i bought like 2-3 years ago and never wore it HAHA. first time wearing a maxi skirt seriously......

and i wore this dangling earring one side, which i bought in like, secondary 3 or 4. BRAND NEW NEVER TOUCH BEFORE SOME MORE. really need to start wearing other earrings instead of sticking to my studs haha. worn together with my favourite ribbon pin clipping my hair up ^^

mmmmm looking forward to monday! my parents are going with me for GSS shoppinggggg ^^ pretty sad to say that i have not yet been shopping for GSS at all due to work :(

2011-06-13T10:29:00.002+08:00

believe it or not, my heart has started aching all over again. much more than before. i think i care too much. you were once so important in my life but i guess when someone doesnt think about your feelings when they do something, its kind of time to forget all about it.

2011-06-13T01:56:00.003+08:00

i dont wanna hurt you anymore. like how i probably did with that sms. so nope, not telling you anymore.

2011-06-13T01:47:00.004+08:00

stupidly kicked my little pinky toe against the door and its swollen and hurting a lot. must be too much karma T.T

--

i finally said it. even though part of me tells me that i shouldnt. part of me feels relieved that i actually said it out. maybe hopefully i wont think about it so much anymore. oh well. not taking the initiative to talk again. because every time you tell me you have a lot of things to tell me the next day, you never did. why bother bringing up my hopes when you're going to bring it down again?

2011-06-09T23:01:00.002+08:00

us who sent roo off(: cant wait to skype with her!

why is life so busy now. it's either i'm OT-ing or i'm out with friends for the past 3 whole weeks already. I NEED REST. i havent caught with up the last 3 episodes of glee and i cant find it anywhere to watch now sigh. so sorry my blog has no more nice content to read HAHAHA. better than being some emo kid here anyway heh.

btw, CAN I PLEASEEEEEE GET INTO NUS?!?!!?!?!?!

sighhh. :( :(

2011-06-06T01:15:00.002+08:00

it's been a crazy two weeks going out everyday even after work. i'm so tired out! i kinda wish that there's one more day of weekend just for me to sleep... :(

saturday:
met up with sayhwee and we went shopping vintage stuff and watched kungfu panda!! ^^ and at night i watched xmen with the regent people.

sunday:
sent roo off at the airport :( manzzz she's going australia to study for two years! i wanna go overseas tooooo. just to play :P