But it's okay. I'm used to it.
----
You know. I had this dream about us. You missing the past we had. You missing the care and concern I showed you. You missing everything. The dreamt ended and I was wondering is it me missing you or you missing me.
Everything's over so long ago, the wound has healed but the scar is there to stay. The scar hurts when it's pressed though.
2:10 PM
i really really want to set up my own blogshop and design clothes for myself and sell to earn some bucks too HAHA. but it's so hard to start up since i dont know anything at all...... :( and i have nobody to help me :(
3:51 AM
top from armani exchange, ribbon from taiwan, overall from forever21.
put on make up, together with foundation and a bit of eyeshadow. they have been rotting for way too long!! the last time i used them properly was prom in secondary 4 ._. i think i should really try to use them up hahaha. and by the way the picture of gladys is too cute to not put up at all!
went on a shopping spree at town again. steals: h&m belt, one pair of shoes, one high waisted shorts, two necklaces and membership for some jay gee thing so i can get discount for more clothes yayyyyyy. if anybody wants discount for new look, aeropostale, levi's etc look for me k i lend you my card! :D
2:57 AM
I NEED TO FIND WORK BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO DO AT ALL. OR DO I HAVE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO ASK ME OUT? PLEASE DO HEHEHE.
2:11 AM
But I guess when you really care about someone, no matter how long the time has past it'll still affect you.
Oh hell wait, I shouldn't even be thinking about these useless stuff. I don't like being sad.
3:04 AM
"i bet i'll drift away from them soon."
not even half a year later, my bet came true.
1:49 AM
thinking back, actually there were countless of times i actually wanted to quit frisbee. but different groups of friends kept me going.
i really did almost quit before open circuit. i told myself, i'll only play for friends, and only if a team needs me. but i continued taking photos and ended up playing for summer league, then jb opens. now grab huck score. i didnt want to play for summer league at first, but i ended up playing because of friends. then again, i'm playing because of friends for jb opens and grab huck score too.
sigh. play so long already still so lousy. why do i even bother to continue also right? close to 2 years of experience already and i'm probably one of the worst players still.
august 2010.
1:38 AM
what i actually feel
1:19 AM
3:06 AM
&& thinking back, i dont receive things from these friends i always buy things for. it's not that i want it, but it will really make me feel happy whenever someone goes the extra mile for me. isn't the feeling great when a friend buys you something special whenever they go overseas? it's not the mass-buy-for-everyone-item, but something specially chosen for you. i get this kind of happiness i can't describe. love these friends, i really do. they let you know that you're on their mind even when they're somewhere far away.
but when you're not overseas, probably no one would buy things for their friends unlike me hmm. yep i shall stop buying. why waste money right? spend it on myself and my brothers better.
i've always expected more from closer friends. just because i'm willing to do that much more for them, i expect them to go the little extra mile for me. not as much as what i'd do, but at least something more than just a friend. my birthday last year, all i received from the "closer friends", were things i didnt expect. not happiness, but sadness.
clique 5 + bbm will always be special in my heart. they buy presents for each and everyone of us when they're overseas. recently, we have been giving/receiving gifts everytime we meet up! haha. and i get reminded of how amelia used to buy some random things for me to spur me on in secondary school <3 but it's not about the presents, it's about the thought that counts. i cant deny that their presents make their presence more special in a way though.
2:39 AM
i really want to go overseas again. but nobody to go with this time round. :( mum refused to go bangkok shopping with me though... i really want that one day overseas again where it's carefree and full of happiness. can everyone quit school or work hahahahaaha.
2:13 AM
don't people get days that they're tired of being nice, doing that extra bit for people as always? i do. many a times i actually feel like rejecting to help someone but i'll feel bad. so i still end up doing it anyway.
and then there are times when something comes over me and i volunteer to help. then i regret thereafter.
i know there are people who will really appreciate it. then again, how many are these people who appreciate? how many are these people who actually are making use of me?
there was a period when i got so tired of people looking for me the moment they needed help, so i rejected for the first time and ended up having my friend being angry at me. why must i always help, and when i need help nobody's there?
but it's okay. i'm used to it anyway.
2:09 AM
And just to design my resume perfectly, I've been doing it for three nights and it's still not completed!! Gah. I get one inspiration to do one section one day. Why can't I get more inspiration??
I'd choose to work over rotting at home aimlessly anytime. Different from resting ok haha. I really hope Abercrombie and Fitch can hire me :(
1:58 AM
I'm such a lazy ass I swear. I've been doing my resume for the past two nights and it's not even halfway done because of how lazy I am.
Maybe it's because I don't really want to start work at all :(
I wish things will magically complete themselves man. Arghhhhhhhh booooooo.
9:50 PM
smurfs are so cuteeeeeeeee! but i didnt expect glee movie to be what it is though. but since i love glee i still like it too hehe. the warblers academy <3<3
I HELPED HAZEL "MAKEOVER" HAPPILY BUT SHE DIDNT WANT IT IN THE END. SO SADDENING PLEASE. SO MANY PEOPLE PREFERRED HER IN IT LO :'(
nicer and look more cheerful than her usual plain clothes right!!!!!!!!!! :( but ok totally my style i know hahaha.
dress - far east plaza, denim top - taiwan, wedges - new look (ok sorry cant be seen haha), hairband - f21, bag - urban outfitters, rings - taiwan, bangles - taiwan, f21, korea spree
been wanting to wear this dress out for the longest time :D i really like it but too bad it's too transparent to wear without something to cover behind booooo.
it's been two weeks of being unemployed and it feels like forever. i should really find work soon T.T
9:51 PM
SAY HI TO MY PURPLE HAIR!! (see that streak??)
it's supposed to be blue.. but never mind i'm okay with this too hahaha.
ok lah one more picture of my face sorry lol
my last picture in the office. i miss some people, and the corgi dog :( :(
11:32 PM
white oversized top - the gorgeous look, belt - china, pink high waisted lace shorts - forever 21, bag - urban outfitters, necklace - gift.
MUM SAID I LOOK DAMN OLD FASHIONED. GOT MEH??
i havent done this kind of camwhoring shots for a long long time HAHA. edited the photo using some application i downloaded on my iphone ^^v
see that brown paper bag? MY PENTAX CAMERA IS BACK YIPPEE. time for better and nicer photos :D
stayed over at my darling szeli's house. felt really happy that my mum agreed to let me stayover for the first time!! 有了一次就会有第二次，第三次.... hehe >:)
1:09 AM